Niece

I know, I'm not blogging. I'm really sorry... Well, not so much things are happening. I'm waiting for Tomoyas visa, working, and spending time with relatives. This is the newest of them, Matilda. She is really fond of hair...

Obligations

I feel kind of obliged to blog. Although noone is actually reading this anymore. But still, I don't want this to die away, so I'll give it a try. Last weekend was spent in Germany. I had a really awesome weekend with my old German friends and some new. We stayed at Matthias wineyard one night and the rest of the time at Lukas place. We sunbathed, climbed the wine covered hills and barbequed, among other things. On top on that, the weather was really great. I am really looking forward to when the Germans will come to Sweden in August. This week two of the Japanese visited us at the office in Gothenburg. I've been doing some translating work and interpreting and got payed lunch all week. It's been fun and nice to see the Japanese chaps again. I also got to know that I will work until the end of July, at least. It feels good to have work during summer. Work makes time go fast. Anyhow. We did some sightseeing this week. One evening we took the Hisingen runt trip. Hisingen is an island on which like half of Gothenburg is situated on. You can take the boat around it. It took about 4 hours and was nice since we could se a double rainbow on the way, loads of nature and the ocean. On Friday, we went to Marstrand. A place at the coast where almost all of the houses are summer villas for rich people. There's an old fortress there as well, from which the wiev is quite nice. Otherwise, things are OK. I miss Tomoya a lot obviousely. But 1 out of 4 months have passed now, 25%. That feels a little better actually. I really hope that this summer passes quickly, but I think it will. At least it's better to be home waiting while having a job and when it's summer.

Destruction in Gothenburg

As the title suggests, this will not be a too uplifting text. I know, I have a tendency to be negative, but what I am to write about today is something that I think that most Swedish people are sick and tired of, vandalism of public places (omg I'm such a stereotype). Ok, grafitti is not that horrible. The vandal has a kind of purpose, sometimes the result is even artistic and covers an ugly wall. Tagging however, is not as nice but at least the guy who does it can write his or her name somewhere, so there's a small but stupid reason. Right. Destruction for fun however, that is something that I can't understand. Not at all. Crushing lamps, destroying windows... and most of all vandalizing flower beds, that is totally pointless and just retarded. My sister lives in a suburb of Gothenburg called Hjällbo. It's not the nicest part of town, but at least there are quite a lot of plantations. The sad part however is that some people, probably kids, are ruining them all the time. I mean honestly, what fun is there in destroying tulips, trashing roses and stamping daffodills? I don't get it. It makes me sad as well as angry. This wouldn't happen in Japan. On the other hand, there wouldn't be enough green areas or plantations for that to happen in Japan. And the positive examples of unvandalized and nice flowers are the lilacs that are blooming in Vasaparken or the lovely plantation along Avenyn, the main street of Gothenburg. I don't have any pictures of those though...

The 3 steps of destruction:

Someone has been messing with the tulips...

All the flowers are magically gone...

Total destruction... meh...

I don't think there's any need to say anything more. People don't respect things around them. That's just how it is. Sad but true. And probably inevitable if you want a country of freedom with rights to do whatever you want. It's either this or being restricted as in Japan. I don't know what to choose... I am slowly adapting to Sweden though. I've realised that I have to put things behind me and look forward. I am accepting that I will live here for a while now, and I'm thinking of what good things I can do about that. One step in accepting and liking was for me to join the Bodyshop members' club the other day. As a member I get all kinds of offers and discounts, and the membership costs 100 kronor a year. In other words, if I go abroad I can't use it and it's a waste of money, but if I'm in Sweden it's a good deal. In other words, I am slowly accepting and settling down.

The best news however, are that tomorrow we are going to Germany. This is something that I have been looking forward too for a really long time, and finally it's going to be reality. As Monika expressed it, it wil be like in Japan but without Japan. The weather is supposed to be great and I am hoping to take many nice pictures of Mosel and nice German areas. Besides, next week two of my Japanese coworkers are coming here on a business trip. That will most likely be fun as well and I'm looking forward to seeing them again and hear about the news from Tokyo.

Getting fired up

Yesterday I got fired. And today I seem to have been hired again. Or to be honest, I'm not really sure. I got an email from one boss saying that I should work until the end of may (although until august was decided), one from another boss saying that we should try to find a good solution as soon as possible, and one from another saying that I will work at least until the end of June. I am confused. I happen to know though that my coworkers are sort of spontaneous sometimes, and that the times are tough now in the world of business, so I'm trying to take it easy.

The Swedish expression for getting fired if you translate it directly means "To get kicked". Not kicked out or anything, just kicked. When someone is kicking on you, it hurts and it's not fun, but after a while you will feel better and stand up and move on. The Japanese expression for getting fired however, 首を切られる（kubiwokirareru), literary means to get your throat cut. I don't think that many people can stand up after that. I think that reflects how important one's job is in Japan compared to in Sweden. I'm happy that Tomoya has quit his.


While working in Sweden I am living with my sister and her cat. He's an old fat nice guy who likes to cuddle.

The art of falling apart

This is not very interesting. It’s just some of my random thoughts. There, now I’ve warned you.

What do you do when you’re in the middle of a period that you’re just waiting for to end? It could be anything; maybe an extremely boring and depressing summer job that you have to do to get money for your studies that will start in the autumn. It could be a period after you’ve fallen off a ladder, broken both of your legs and won’t be able to do your favorite hobby that happens to be handball again for another 4 months. Or, it could be a period when you can’t meet a certain person. The thing that’s going on for me right now, that is. Normal people would handle this OK and think positively. I mean, a period of some months, it will past quickly and there’s no reason to be sad for something silly like this. But, born a pessimist as I am, I even manage to break down my seemingly waterproof genki dasu (getting into a good mood) lines of thinking.

Yesterday when I was lying sleepless in my bed in Toreboda, I figured out that there must be 2 kinds of thoughts to cheer yourself up when you are in a situation that you don’t really like. As for the thoughts, the first one is to think about what will happen after this crappy period ends and realize how small and unimportant this current time is in the long run. For me, that could be thinking about that Tomoya will most likely be able to stay in Sweden from September and then forever, which makes the 4 months until then seem like a very short time span. I could think about how fun it will be once we are done with all these visa applications and shit, and that we have a new life ahead. In other words, being separated is definitely worth it. The second way to think yourself into a positive mood is to force yourself to realize how happy you actually are, and how much more horrible the situation actually could have been. I am happy to have someone I really care about and who cares about me. I am happy to ha

ve a nice family and loads of siblings, to live in a country where we have free education. Happy to not have any creepy diseases and to have both my arms and legs… It’s also called the “think about the poor children in Africa”-line of thinking.

These two methods work for many people. But, as a pessimist at heart, I manage to trash even these otherwise efficient ways. How? Well, basically it’s about fear and imagining problems that don’t exist. If I start thinking about the wonderful future to come, I can’t help but making it worse in my head. At dark moments, I try to imagine how much Tomoya will enjoy Sweden, and a second later I say to myself “But what if he hates Sweden, what if he wants to go back to Japan?”. I think about how nice it will be to start university, loads of new friends and fun things to study, and immediately I think “What if I fail at university and get no friends?” And suddenly the once so bright future is full of horrible problems instead of stuff to look forward too. I have created problems for myself that aren’t even present. To think about how happy I am and how much worse my situation could have been brings out the fear. Once I start thinking that I’m so happy to have parents alive I start thinking about how hor

rible it would be if something happened to them. And if I start thinking about how lucky I should be to have Tomoya at all, I start imagining what would happen if he would stop liking me.

I don’t know why I am thinking like this, but I suppose it’s a weird feature I have, to always take out negative things in advance. The good side is that I get positive surprises every now and then, since I’ve assumed the worst and sometimes things actually go as you want them to. The bad thing is that until I get these surprises I’m sad in vain, since the result actually was a good one. It’s a very very stupid way of thinking actually. The best way would be to think positively about everything. If something gets fucked up I’m going to be sad afterwards anyway. I might as well take the opportunity to be glad while I don’t have anything serious to cry about. It’s a win-win situation. Now I know it, I just have to start thinking and believe it as well.

I’m sitting at my office in Gothenburg right now. The photo is taken from the kitchen window in the office. I am fond of clouds...This is my lunch break however, so I’m not blogging on work time. That’s a no-no combination…

Reincarnation

This blog died for a week or two. But it has come to life again. I'm back in Sweden now, and I don't really know what to call my blog anymore. Maybe I'll go back to Japan in a month, and maybe I'll stay here for the rest of my life. Besides, I'm going to Germany in a week or two. So, I decided to just blog about anything and everything. And, with this change of environment and things to blog about, I also changed the design of the blog.


So, I'm back in Sweden. It's been about... 1,5 weeks since I left Japan. If feels like 10 years. I miss Tomoya extremely much, but also all the other habits and people in Japan. Starbucks, the shopping, the weather... Concerning those things Sweden is about as crappy as it could be right now. It's cold and I'm in the middle of the countryside, far away from shops or life. But, there are some good parts as well. First, the blooming fruit trees that I am taking pictures of all the time and second, the cookie and food making. I have an oven, decent ingredients and a kitchen with room for more than one saucepan. Yay!


Tomorrow work starts. I will go to Gothenburg and live at my sister Stina's place. It will be nice to start working again. As I do that, time tends to pass faster, and I have a connection to Japan, my Japanese coworkers, and somehow the world over there seems real again. Yesterday we had a big party at Lisa's place. It was really really nice and I could meet many of my high school and childhood friends. The weekend before I went with Linn to her summer house. All of this has been kind of Swedish. Red summer houses and house parties... I'm a bit culture shocked I suppose...



Well, I just have to keep the mood up. After all, Tomoya will be able to move to Sweden in only four months, and he's quitting work in the end of June. That's decided. Progress!

Last day in Japan (235th time!!)

I'm leaving Japan tomorrow. Again. This will be the 3rd time that I'm leaving this country, not knowing weather I will come back and leaving something behind that I want to take with me. At the same time, I feel that there are things at home in Sweden that I am looking forward to. Swedish spring, countryside, the presence of an oven, relatives etc. But still. This agonizing feeling that I am jumping into something where the future is totally unknown and that I might be leaving a period of my life for good that has had a great inpact on who I am maybe without being able to return, is never the less here. I am slowly getting used to some of the procedures however. Organizing farewell parties, how to go to the airport, how to pack and skip the worrying about having remembered to brought everything... But, the feeling that I maybe wont come back again is still stuck in my head. At the same time, maybe it doesn't matter if I can come back again. If I could have brought Tomoya with me this time, things would have been no problem I am sure of it. The sad part is also that the weather here is really great right now. It's like Swedish early summer, the neighbour's dozens of clivias are blooming, and even the lavender on our balcony. I wouldn't mind staying another month. But most of all, I wouldn't mind going home knowing what my coming months would look like. Leaving Japan has a scary connection to the feeling of being lost and not knowing what's coming ahead.
Well, no need to be upset. If everything is going as it usually does, I will be back in a month or two. And hey, I am going to Germany in 3 weeks!

Relatives in Japan

The last weeks have been busy. First, Monika and her lovely cousin Stephanie came here. After that, Stina and Ida arrived and are still here for another 5 days. Of course, I have been spending all of my free time with the girls, going to various tourist spots. Last Saturday however, we had a hanami party (look at the flowers party) by the river near our apartment. Loads of people of various nationalities came; Japanese, Swedish, German, French, Thai etc. A hanami party is basically a picnic under the cherry blossom trees, and needless to say it was really fun.

The day after we went to Kamakura. I have been there once before, but in the autumn. The big buddha was still there and the temples as well. We also went to a small cafe close to the daibutsu (buddha). After sitting there for a while, a squirrel appeared outside the cafe. Then another one. And suddenly they came into the shop and started eating something that the shop owner fed them with. Extremely cute and an absolutely memorable fika break.

Kamakura is located by the sea and there's a quite nice beach. We went there to walk and pick some sea shells. Stina of course picked a bag or two and will probably have some extra kilos when she goes home to Sweden...

Our neighbour's cat...

During the week we have mostly visited different parts of Tokyo since I am working on day time. On the evenings however we have been singing a lot of karaoke which both Stina and Ida likes a lot. Stina has contributed to the singing with Metallica songs and also loads of country, like Hank Williams and Roger Miller. Roger Miller was the toughest to do since all the doop op a doo and shug a lug etc. force you to dig deep for your non-existent yodeling skills. Ida on the other hand contributed to the party atmosphere with Abba and Dolly Parton. I think all in all my father would have been happy with the performances.

Today we went to a place called Kagurazaka. It's located in Tokyo, but looks a little like Kyoto with old style houses and temples. We had a coffee at a really nice café by the canal. Yesterday we visited a really great botanical garden in Mitaka, not far from the centre of Tokyo. Right now it's the time of the Azaleas, and they were in full bloom. This park however, had a gigantic rose garden as well with loads of different kinds. I think my mother would have enjoyed this. They were not blooming yet, but in some weeks I will go there again, no doubt.

Or well, actually there's a little doubt if I will go there again. Right now I'm on my second tourist visa in Japan and when I'm going to enter on my third one in May they will be very suspicious. I discussed with my boss and he was also a little nervous about the fact that the company might actually be examined if the custom guys decide to look into my stay here in Japan. However, my boss and one other guy at the company expressed that I have done a lot for the company and that I am helping them very much so they really want to keep me for another 3 months and will help me to struggle through it. Only that fact, that I'm actually doing something useful and that they see me as an asset, makes me feel very happy and relieved. If I can't make it back to Japan again, it will at least be because of stupid beurocracy and not because my company sacked me. So, I am a little nervous, but I try not to think of it too much.

There are some good news as well actually. Tomoya and I have been looking for a way for him to come to Sweden quite a while now. He has been struggling with the TOEFL tests and shit but hasn't managed to get into university yet. This has also been nagging on my mind for a while, making me sleepless and giving me sporadic agony attacks (did I make up that expression myself?). Anyhow. The other day I realised the best invention since sliced bread; Sambo visa. The Swedish word "Sambo" means to live together with your boy/girlfriend without being married. Usually, to get a visa for the country that your partner is from, you have to get married. In Sweden however, someone thought that it's a little sad to get married just because of the visa (god bless that guy who should be awarded with the nobel prize) and invented this visa, that works exactly like a marriage visa, but you don't have to get married to get it. You just have to be able to prove that you have a serious relationship and intend to live together in Sweden. I have read about people who have only been together for 5 months and when the non-Swedish person has gotten a visa anyway. There are also cases where people are not living together and can get it anyway. So, I am positive that Tomoya and I can apply for this and get it without any problem. As a matter of fact, we are writing the application right now. The only downside is that it takes about 6 months to process the application and get the visa. But, since Tomoya is planning on entering university in the end of August, he might be able to make the office of immigration to speed up the process and go to Sweden a little earlier. If we submit the application in the beginning of next week as we are planning to, he will come to Sweden at latest by the end of September. That is a big relief.

Now we have to work more on the application and then it's bed time so that I can do my best on tomorrow's karaoke, and Tomoya on his drinking with work.

Host

This week has been quite horrible actually. I've been suffering from this really intense cough since last Sunday and I get spontaneous cough attacks when I least expect it. I have to drink water constantly which leaves me with about 6 empty 0.5 litre water bottles at my desk at the end of the day... Yes, I have been going to work. I haven't been having any fever, just stupid cough preventing me from sleeping and forcing me to run to the toilet once every 10th minute. Today however, I went to the doctor with Tomoya's mother. The visit took about 2 minutes and he prescribed me 4 kinds of medicine to take. All in all, I take 20 pills a day. Yes, 20... Well, let's just hope that it works. I have though, been having quite a lot of luck with my students these days. Yesterday I had a lesson with an architect and he was very nice and fun to teach. Also, he wants to have a lesson every week, at a fixed time, which guarantees me those 3000 yen every week. Same thing happen with the real estate guy that I taught today. He wants one lesson a week as well. He didn't look like someone who's dealing with real estate though, but was wearing a cool hat (like the ones my grandfather wears) and was short. He was more a jazz kind of guy. And also very fun. Happy times. The cherry blossoms are falling off now though. The sidewalks are full of flower petals and the branches of the trees are getting their leaves. But it's still quite pretty. Tomorrow Stina and Ida are coming here and hopefully there will be some petals left for them to watch. Yesterday when I was in Ginza I found these lovely cups in a shop window. Stig Lindberg is the best cup designer ever, and I would give anything for these lovely big tea cups... If someone is contemplating on potential birthdays presents for me, that's a good idea I think... hehe. By the way, Japan is the land of contrasts. The area where I am working is full of fancy and new skyscrapers. But right next to them, there's an old barn-looking building overgrown with ivy... strange...

Cherry blossoms

Here comes the first Cherry blossom photo series! Taken along Kanda river...


And here are some other, cherry blossom unrelated pictures as well. One from a fika paus in a department store in Shinjuku. Fika is always important and one of those things that makes live a little brighter and can cheer you up when you feel down. Fike is always a part of the solution to every problem. And really, what would life be without coffee?

This flower (have no idea of the name or kind) is growing in the garden (the 1 square meter) of our neighbour. I think the flowers are really really beautiful and once more, prettier than the cherry blossoms...


That's all for now, and there will most certainly be more cherry blossom pictures later...